Your confidence kingdom.

by Victoria Squirlock April 30, 2020

Good Morning. It's April 27th, 2020.

#MondaysAreGoodDays

Have you heard the quote, “The only thing constant in life is change?”

It’s true, life changes every day. Some ways are more noticable than others, and right now we are all experience changes in our political and wordly current events. The news is constantly changing… every. single. day.

The so-called facts are posted - a new article every minute, new policies passed, unemployment statuses updated, and start dates pushed back.

It is overwhelming, and we feel anxious because we can’t control these changes. We feel helpless, confused and scared. Naturally our minds go into states of panic and anxiety.

But Mondays Are Good Days does not focus on political changes. For those types of topics, we take care of them after we are done reading today’s message.

We find the motivation here to do our due diligence and research to make sure we are taking care of ourselves in the realms of political reality.

But for now, we focus on the change you can control.

Change is not a bad thing. Change could mean there is improvement, maturity and progress towards something better - something different from before.

At Mondays Are Good Days, we’re always trying to change for the good.

So what can we choose to improve on today? What is something that you can meditate on while reading and try to change for the better?

Self-confidence has been on my mind lately. Let’s work on that.

We all struggle with self confidence, whether we’re speaking on it as a life long journey, or if it is a situational struggle- where sometimes you feel more insecure because of the task at hand or because of your surroundings.

I want you to think of your self confidence as a kingdom you create.

Your perspective, how you see the world - or “your kingdom” is essential. Your mindset, the way you think - or “your confidence crown” is important. And you know that, that’s why you are here with me today. Good for you.

Let’s visualize your kingdom:

Your crown:

Look in the mirror as you place your confidence crown onto the top of your head and remember this quote: “Seeking validation from others is asking them for permission to love yourself.”

It all starts IN YOUR HEAD. Speak kindly to yourself and remember that you are royalty!

Your castle:

This is your atmosphere and your surroundings. It is your headspace. It is your home, your office space, the people who spend your time with, the hoarded photos of your ex-boyfriend on your phone for no good reason, it could be the piles of boxes and loads of laundry that are not properly put away.

Declutter, organize and create your space.
Your castle must calm you. Motivate you. Make you feel safe.

It can be hard to get yourself out of a bad headspace, I know. Make it easy on yourself by putting things around you that encourage you.
You can decorate yourself in an outfit you feel nice in or you can decorate the sounds with good music.

When it comes to your kitchen, I want you to limit your time in there.

I read an article about how “The optimal zone for performance is being ‘slightly hungry.’”

And I agree.

Extremes never work. Too full and you are lazy… too starved and you are weak. You will find that your mental clarity and focus is best when you didn’t eat a heavy breakfast sandwich with ham, cheese and an salty eggs at 8.30am before starting your day.

I am confident in telling you that exercising, finishing an assignment or working on a project will come easier to you when you are slightly hungry. Slightly hungry for a good meal to fuel you once you are complete but starving for success.

Knowing you can be disciplined, in your work and in the kitchen, and being productive and successful is a good way to change any negative thoughts you think about yourself. You should be proud.

Your garden:

It is full of life and sunlight. There is no symbolism here, make sure you are getting as much sunlight as possible. Go for walks, sit outside. Vitamin D is important.

Flowers are people. You plant them in your life because they sprout beautifully and they make you happy. Be picky about which species you plant. Otherwise those weeds will suffocate your roots.

Watch out for snakes: In your confidence castle, snakes are not the sneaky people. The snake is the devil, like in the story.

I have my own story about the devil: I had a coworker that was always a pleasure to work with and I loved having her around. I didn’t know her too well but she always said hello genuinely, when she smiled you knew it came from a loving piece of her soul, and her presence was calm and hard working.

Anyway, we worked together around the time my dad passed away and there was one particular day I talked with her about what was going on in my head.

Guilt is one of the 5 stages - I like to call them moods - of grief, and on that day I explained some particular feelings of guilt.

I’m not too religious, and she has more faith than I do. I say this because her reply to my guilty feelings was that they were coming from the devil.

She barked the name at me, disgusted with him.

She told me that he is sitting on my shoulders. She reiterated the fact that we don’t know each other too well but she knows I am good, a good daughter, a good person...

The devil sinks his teeth into those who are vulnerable. I should not and will not listen to the devil.

It sounds dramatic, and I don’t have many beliefs about Eve’s red apple, but the tone out of this soft spoken, smiley girl genuinely convinced me. And it actually scared me a bit.

The intent and belief in her voice was so convincing. She really helped me that day.

And now, when negative thoughts settle on my soil, I remove those weeds from my grounds.

You can also keep birds in your garden, specifically falcons. Falcons are known for their yarak space, meaning “a super-alert state where the bird is hungry, but not weak and ready to hunt.”

Maybe this bird belongs in your kitchen. Hmmm..

Either way, this guy knows the importance of “slightly hungry.”

Take a look at the clock inside your castle:

Remember that you need to take time to check in with yourself. Maybe you are feeling self-conscious because of the people you are around… or there is something that triggered you.

Rewind your past few hours or past interactions in your head. Analyze them.

Self-awareness is the brother to self-confidence. Make time to have a conversation with yourself about feelings toward a situation, and think deep on why you feel this way.

Lastly, outside your castle, you must build a moat: This is your boundaries, it keeps the bad out.

Bad people, bad energy. Be picky about what you let inside your castle. Do not let anyone undeserving cross over into your territory.

So now that you have all of the important pieces, go ahead and start building your kingdom, make some changes and improvements.

And on those days we feel insecure, we feel fuzzy in our brains and we feel conflicted, confused, careless. Go inside your confidence castle and change the way you feel.

On the topic of self-confidence, there is something that I often get insecure about. And weirdly, it’s #MGD.

I think to myself, “who wants to listen to me?” “why are you ‘updating’ your subscribers and filming an instagram story for you followers?”

These thoughts usually come to me half way through editing #MGD for the week. The thoughts creep in on me from me behind my desk. At first, they are echos in the distance, I hear them from another room. But then they are loud. Like they are coming out of my headphones. Noise-canceling headphones that are drowning out any measure of self-confidence I originally had when I started writing.

I listen to these mean thoughts. It’s impossible to not hear them. You’re here, Devil, I recognize your sharp tongue.